The Definition of Abuse
Abuse is a pattern of behavior where one uses power and control over their partner to get what they want.


Examples are:

EMOTIONAL/MENTAL/VERBAL ABUSE

  • Using put-downs, insults, name-calling or backhanded compliments.
  • Threats to kill you, kill myself, kill family or friends, kill children, kill pets, or kill new boyfriend/girlfriend or kidnapping.
  • Threats like “if you leave me, I will . . .” take the children, give you no money, spread rumors, etc.
  • Blaming the person who is being abused for the abuse; making them feel guilty.
  • Minimizing or denying one’s abusive behavior.
  • One person isolating their partner from friends and family.
  • Possessiveness (questioning someone’s whereabouts, activities, etc)

PHYSICAL ABUSE

  • Hitting, grabbing, pushing.
  • Intimidation (blocking doors, hitting things, or throwing objects at or near partner).
  • Using or threatening to use weapons.

FINANCIAL ABUSE

  • Controlling all money or using it to get what they want.
  • Controlling possessions; car, pager, clothes, jewelry, gifts.
  • Excessive gift giving, especially to make up for abusive behavior.

SEXUAL ABUSE

  • Rape = forced penetration without consent (statutory rape and rape by intoxication).
  • Making someone feel too scared to say “yes” or “no” regarding any sexual activity.
  • Pressure (unsafe sex).
Domestic Abuse Survivors Support Services
(269) 673-8700 or
888-411-7837 (24/7)