Impact on Children Living in a Violent Home
Six Lessons Children are likely to learn from living in a violent home:

1. Violence is an appropriate form of conflict resolution.
2. Violence has a place within the family interaction.
3. If violence is reported to others in the community, there are few, if any consequences.
4. Sexism, as defined by an inequality of power, decision making ability, and roles within the family, is to be encouraged.
5. Violence is an appropriate means of stress management.
6. Victims of violence are, at best, supposed to tolerate this behavior and worst, to examine the responsibility in bringing on
the violence.

Signs of Children from Abusive Homes















Recognizing Behaviors and Helpful Responses
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Internalized Behavioral Problems:
  • Hearing difficulties
  • Articulation problems
  • Headaches
  • Ulcers
  • Asthma
  • Stomach aches

Cognitive Difficulties:
  • Impaired concentration
  • Lower verbal abilities
  • Lower motor skills

Behavioral Problems:
  • Acting out
  • Social withdrawal
  • High anxiety level about going to sleep
  • High anxiety level about dying
  • Exhibition of violence towards others, including pets
Helpful Responses
  • Be careful not to overlook this child
  • Find tasks this child can do
  • Gradually introduced to play
  • Greet the child individually as often as possible
Behaviors
  • Aimless
  • Difficulty interacting
  • May just sit when being picked on
Helpful Responses
  • Encourage the child to talk about angry feelings
  • Discuss ahead of time how to resolve conflict
  • Accept the angry feelings. Use "I" statements
  • Correct the behavior (e.g., "Food is for eating, not throwing.")

Behaviors
  • Breaks toys
  • Hits others
  • Verbally abuses others
Helpful Responses
  • It's okay to gently but firmly restrain the child
  • Mom can tell the child, "I love you and I'm not going to let you hurt yourself or others."
  • Try to find out what is going on with the child after the child has regained composure and is calm
Behaviors
  • Child is out of control
Behaviors
  • Clings to mom
  • Cries when mom leaves room
  • Cries when it's time to go to school
Helpful Responses
  • Reassure the child that mom will return
  • Mom and child plan an activity for when mom returns
  • Hug child
Behaviors
  • Similar to separation anxiety
  • Tries to make it up to mom
  • Depressed
Helpful Responses
  • Explain the reason for leaving
  • Frequently assure the child it was not his fault
Behaviors
  • The child takes on the parent's responsibilities
Helpful Responses
  • Thank child for being helpful but encourage child to play and behave like a child, not an adult
Behaviors
  • Potty trained children may begin to wet their pats
  • A favorite blanket that was given up many be wanted
Helpful Responses
  • Do not punish the child for this behavior.
  • Do not draw attention to the regressive behavior … this will pass as the stress eases
Aggression
A child may imitate aggressive behavior so that s/he will not be the victim
Rage
Can be caused by terrible fears of feelings of rejection
Separation Anxiety
A child fears that mom is going to leave
Fear of Abandonment
Child fears that the abuser is going to kill the mom and s/he is going to be left with no one to take care of him/her.
The child feels guilty and responsible for the violent incident.
Role Reversal
The child takes on the role of protective adult
Regress
When under stress a child behaves as they did in an earlier stage of life
Withdrawal/Passivity
Some children under stress exclude themselves and become apathetic.